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Click a music player to hear assorted prayers - In the mean time,; don't give up. Just keep on trusting God!
They say most guys only have one girl...but a guitar player always has his pick
Q. Why do all the girls want to date the Alto players?
A: They are so SAXY!
What did the band leader say to sax player?
Can you play solo? So low we can't hear you
Proverbs 17:22
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit
drieth the bones.
Proverbs 15:15
All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry
heart hath a continual feast.
A Christian man had just died and was on his way to heaven. When he got to the gates of heaven he met an angel. The angel asked him what God's name was.
'Oh that's easy,' the man replied, 'His name is Andy.'
'What make you think his name is Andy?' the angel asked incredulously.
'Well, you see at Church we used to sing this song 'Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me.
Encountering a bear
A Baptist missionary was walking in Africa when he heard the ominous padding of a lion behind him. "Oh Lord," prayed the missionary, "Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion."
And then, in the silence that followed, the missionary heard the lion praying too: "Oh Lord," he prayed, "I thank Thee for the food which I am about to receive."
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The Pastor and The Choir director
Church feuds are not uncommon. But when the pastor and choir director
get into it, stand aside. One week our pastor decided to press his position by preaching on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service. That Sunday, the choir director led the choir in singing, 'I Shall Not Be Moved.' The next Sunday, the pastor preached on giving and how we should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The choir director then led the song, 'Jesus Paid It All.' The next Sunday, the pastor preached on gossiping and how we should watch our tongues. The hymn was 'I Love To Tell The Story.' The pastor became disgusted over the situation, and the next Sunday he told the congregation he was considering resigning. The choir then sang 'Oh, Why Not Tonight.' After the pastor resigned the next week, he preached his last sermon at the church telling the congregation that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was taking him away. The choir then sang, 'What A Friend We Have in Jesus.'
Choir Member Who Can't Sing
A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he could serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desperate and went to the pastor.
"You've got to get that man out of the choir," he said. "If you don't, I'm going to resign. The choir members are going to quit too. Please do something."
So the pastor went to the man and suggested, "Perhaps you should leave the choir."
"Why should I get out of the choir?" he asked.
"Well, five or six people have told me you can't sing."
That's nothing," the man snorted. "Fifty or sixty people have told me that you can't preach!"
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A Choir Director's Beatitudes
.... And, seeing the long Church Year before them, and knowing the awesome role that music must play in the worship services that lay ahead, the Choir Director called together the singers and spake to them, saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, those who are willing to blend their voices into a harmonious ensemble, for theirs is the music of heaven.
Blessed are they that mourn when forced to miss rehearsal, but call to inform the Director of their anticipated absence, for in these faithful few shall the Director find comfort.
Blessed are the meek, who submit themselves to following the Director, for they shall merit great worth.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after rehearsals are concluded, bringing with them neither gum nor goodies, for they shall be filled with music.
Blessed are the merciful, who take pity on the music's composer, careful to read the original notes, follow the original time, proclaim resoundingly the original message, for they shall obtain mercy from discriminating critics.
Blessed are the pure in pitch, in tone, in enunciation, for their voices shall blend in moving harmonies, enabling others to envision God.
Blessed are the music-makers, for they shall be called the heralders of God.
Blessed are ye singers when the Director shall seem to persecute you for the sake of the final rendition; be patient and rejoice, for of such perfection is the music of heaven.
Blessed are ye when other choirs shall revile you, and turn their ears from you, and say all manner of evil against you jealously.
Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heavenly satisfaction that you have sung faithfully and well - for so disparaged they the great singers who were before you ... perhaps even that Bethlehem choir of Angel voices!
Top Reasons For Joining The Church Choir
You're running out of clean clothes and the robe saves on laundry.
The church is usually crowded and you want to make sure you always have a seat.
You've just been selected for jury duty and you want to get use to sitting with a large group of people.
The collection plate is never passed to the choir.
There's a clock in the back of the church and you want to know when one hour has passed.
For years you have wanted to know who sits in the back of the church but were afraid to turn around and look.
You've been known to nod off during the service and don't want the minister/priest to catch you.
The chairs for the choir are padded and are the most comfortable chairs in the church.
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Top 10 Songs for People Over 40
Let's Get a Physical
Ain't No Burrito Mild Enough
Johnny B. Olde
How Do You Mend a Broken Everything
The Lack O' Motion
Hair Potion Number Nine
Doctor My Eyes (And Ears and Joints and Back and ...)
To All the Girls I've Disappointed Before
A Hard Day's Nap
Knock Knock Knockin' on the Bathroom Door
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